Category: Mental Health

Nourishing Gratitude with a Gratitude Party

On By Michael FlemingIn Interpersonal Relationships, Mental Health, ParentingLeave a comment

An article published by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley highlights research showing that gratitude improves mental health.

With an awareness of the positive effects of gratitude, my wife and I are trying to nourish feelings of gratitude in ourselves and in our young children. (I must admit, however, that my wife is much better at it, and she often encourages me to be more grateful.)

On that note, at the end of last year our family hosted a gratitude party. My wife, kids, and I invited people we are grateful for. It was a great atmosphere. We gave all the guests cards that expressed our appreciation. In turn, they appreciated being appreciated. What an amazing cycle! It makes me even more grateful, and I’m excited to host similar celebrations in the future.

cycle: be appreciative, show appreciation, be appreciated
M. Fleming’s Appreciation Cycle

Developing Skills to Help Those Experiencing Mental Distress

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Hearing a story of someone in crisis recently reminded me of the importance of developing skills that can be used to help someone in mental distress. Here’s a brief summary of three empowering workshops:

LivingWorks safeTALK

A four-hour workshop that teaches participants how to prevent suicide by recognizing signs, engaging with someone, and connecting them to an intervention resource.

Mental Health First Aid Canada

Offered by the Mental Health Commission of Canada, this 12-hour course teaches participants crisis first aid interventions for overdose, suicidal behaviour, panic attacks, psychotic episode, and acute stress reaction.

LivingWorks Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training (ASIST)

A two-day workshop that teaches participants how to prevent suicide by recognizing signs, providing an intervention, and developing a safety plan.

I would recommend any of the above training. After taking the training myself, I feel more confident in my ability to interact with someone who’s experience mental distress, and you never know, one day these skills might save a life.

Dear Ms. Wurtzel

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

I read your book Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America when I was in my twenties. I remember your journey through the darkness. I appreciated your honesty, your courage, your intellect, your literary prowess, your love of Bruce Springsteen.

You wrote:

And maybe—and this is a really optimistic maybe—somewhere along the way this dour story might give some people some inspiration and even some hope for a better future, for the future that people my age and younger can look forward to building.

I was saddened by the news of your death. It reminded me of the time I read your book. It reminded me of the time you inspired me. It reminded me of the time you gave me hope.

The Power of Peer Support for Mental Health Recovery

On By Michael FlemingIn Interpersonal Relationships, Learning and Growth, Mental HealthLeave a comment

As a facilitator of a peer support group for men who have experienced anxiety and/or depression, I have come to discover there are many benefits of peer support groups. In this post I’d like to mention a few.

First, peer groups provide encouragement and support.

Second, participants come to learn that they are not alone in their struggles.

Third, there is level of understanding and empathy that can only be provided by those with common lived experiences.

Fourth, individuals are more likely to be courageously vulnerable because the power gradient among peers is lower compared to the typical power hierarchy in client-provider healthcare relationships.

The Mental Health Commission of Canada underscores the value of peer support:

Peer support initiatives can have a great impact on a person’s journey of recovery. The relationship forged between the peer supporter and the person with a mental health problem or illness can help improve quality of life as well as reduce the need for hospitalization.

The Mental Health Commission of Canada also believes that peer support is undervalued.

I wholeheartedly agree. Perhaps it’s because I have experienced and continue to experience its transformative effects on people’s lives.

Requiem For/From A Friend

On By Michael FlemingIn Interpersonal Relationships, Learning and Growth, Mental Health, SpiritualityLeave a comment

Thank you for guiding me. You made a difference in my life. And I will miss you.

You said a quiet mind is not a precursor to peace. Your mind keeps going, but you can recognize that you don’t have to get involved with it. Don’t involve yourself. We constantly try to resist everything. This is the mind, you said. Don’t be involved with this resistance, and you will be at peace. Soften...Experience… Create a distance between you and your thoughts. Don’t engage. The mind comes up with many things. Don’t fight your mind. When you don’t engage, the troubling thought is gone. It’s kinda like bubbly bubbly Eno. Don’t identify with your thoughts, your personality. You’ll ask, who is this? But this is not conceptual, you said. This is a feeling, a sense. You will discover a power within yourself so nothing empowers you. With this new power, this new awareness, your general way of being will be at peace.

Thank you for guiding me. You made a difference in my life. And I will miss you.

Columnist Contributes to Stigma Surrounding Mental Illness and Falls Short with Apology

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

I was disappointed to learn that a recent column in my local newspaper contained some language that stigmatizes people with schizophrenia.

“Winter is a schizophrenic psychopath out to get me” was the title of Neil Crone’s column.

Fortunately, many readers called him out on it. For instance, Shane Christensen of Oshawa wrote a poignant letter to the editor. Christensen, whose son deals with schizophrenia, was appalled by the title Crone’s column. Christensen notes that his son has been stable for many years, but believes—and I wholeheartedly agree—that his son will continue to suffer due to others’ ignorance and stigmatization.

Crone and his editors must have received a lot of backlash, and rightly so. As a result, the original headline was changed and a follow-up column, titled “Column’s intention was never meant to belittle or shame,” appeared shortly after the original column was published.

Although Crone writes, “It was never my intention to belittle or shame […] anyone dealing with mental health issues,” the fact is that by describing winter as a “schizophrenic psychopath out to get me,” he did indeed hurt many people. Whether intentional or not, nonchalantly using metaphors connecting schizophrenia with psychopathy is insensitive and contributes to the continued stigma surrounding mental illness.

And Crone’s apology falls short. According to Aaron Lazare and other experts on apologies, there are five parts to an effective apology:

  1. Express remorse
  2. Acknowledge offense / accept responsibility
  3. Offer empathy
  4. Undo harm; offer reparation
  5. Reassure that there’s a low likelihood of recurrence

Crone’s apology is lacking in a number of these areas. Instead of fully owning the mistake, he places blame on his editors and the sensitivity of readers. He also doesn’t reassure me that he won’t hurt readers again; in fact, he argues that he will continue to use metaphors at his own discretion.

As I read Crone’s apology, something didn’t sit right with me. Granted, that was my subjective response. However, looking at the apology using Lazare’s research on effective apologies, I could objectively discern why the apology was insufficient.

The columnist failed to make amends with me, someone whose life has been affected by mental illness. The consequence: his readership will decrease by at least one.

 

Increasing Number of College Students with Anxiety

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

I have worked with students for nearly two decades, and the increasing number of students struggling with anxiety is alarming.

A recent article in Psychology Today outlines reasons why so many college students have anxiety disorders.

Diane Dreher states:

Research points to three changes in our culture that could be undermining the mental health of today’s college students.

  1. An increase in materialistic values…
  2. The rising cost of college…
  3. Delayed adulthood and external locus of control…

Let me briefly touch on each point. First, I agree with the author’s statement that today there is more emphasis on materialism, consumerism, and financial success. Just the other day, my wife and I had a conversation with our young children who have begun to place too much importance on material things. “Remember,” I said to my kids, “people are more important than stuff.”

Second, Dreher points to rising costs of tuition and living expenses in the U.S., but the trend is similar in Canada. For example, when I was an undergrad 20 years ago, the average cost of tuition in the country was around $3000. Today, it is more than $6500.

Third, on the idea of delayed adulthood and external locus of control, I concur. Just last week, I was talking with a young man who dropped out of university in his second semester. He blamed everyone but himself for his lack of success.

I agree with Dreher that these factors are affecting students’ development and mental health. But I would add another societal change that also plays a major role: use of technology. Sounds like a topic for another blog.

 

 

A Reply from No Frills and Bigger Problems for Loblaw Companies

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental HealthLeave a comment

Recently I wrote to No Frills about my concerns over some print advertisements I saw outside my local supermarket.

A Letter to No Frills About Offensive Ad

Another Letter to No Frills About Another Offensive Ad

I feel their use of the words bananas and nuts in their ads are hurtful to many individuals and add to the stigma surrounding mental illness.

Some readers may disagree, but remember words like gay and retarded were acceptable vernacular not too many years ago.

Dr. Gail Saltz, psychiatrist and author, shares my views and suggests society needs to banish words such as crazy and nuts. I quoted Dr. Saltz in a separate post, cra-zy.

I want to let readers know that I received a response from No Frills’ parent company, Loblaw Companies. Loblaw assured me that they did not mean to offend and that my concerns would be passed along to the marketing department.

Unfortunately, the print ads remain. And I’m skeptical that the marketing department gives a shit, for I view marketers in the same light as used-car salesmen and politicians.

Coincidentally, I read an article in CBC news today about a woman with a disability who was banned from a No Frills store because she couldn’t pack her groceries fast enough.

Woman with disability banned from No Frills store after failing to pack groceries fast enough

Kudos to Linda Rolston for complaining to head office and being an advocate for people with disabilities.

To Loblaw Companies, I would simply encourage you to treat every customer with respect; other critics, however, would say your behaviour in this case is nuts.

 

 

Another Letter to No Frills About Another Offensive Ad

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental Health1 Comment

Dear No Frills,

Last week I wrote to you expressing my disappointment with one of your print advertisements that contained a derogatory term.

A Letter to No Frills About Offensive Ad

I’m disappointed that I did not receive a response.

This week, I wanted to let you know about another offensive print ad that I saw in the window of my local No Frills supermarket. The ad must be part of your “Perpetuating the Stigma Around Mental Illness” campaign.

Our Social Life Is Nuts
Advertisement in window of local supermarket

Now, I like eating nuts. Except pistachios, of course. One night when I was younger, I ate a lot of pistachios which led to an unfortunate bout of diarrhea. I haven’t eaten pistachios since. Anyway, other than pistachios, I like eating nuts. I do not, however, like seeing the word nuts being used in an offensive way.

I hope you consider pulling this advertisement. When it comes to the stigma around mental health problems, let’s try to reduce it, not preserve it.

A Letter to No Frills About Offensive Ad

On By Michael FlemingIn Mental Health1 Comment

Dear No Frills,

I’m happy that you sell bananas. I like bananas.

I once read that if you dress up as a banana and eat a banana, you are a cannibananabal. It’s true. I read it one day on my joke-of-the-day calendar.

Kidding aside, I’m writing to express my disappointment with some of your advertising. I saw this print ad outside of my local No Frills supermarket:

no frills bananas
Advertisement outside local supermarket.

I like the simplicity of your design. Unfortunately, however, your advertisement contributes to the stigma surrounding mental illness. The implied meaning of the word bananas in your pun is a derogatory term and hurtful to many individuals who experience mental illness.

I hope you consider pulling the offensive advertisement.