There was nothing out of the ordinary that night.
Mind you, there was a new dish on the table that night, but that was the new normal. My wife had been experimenting with meals since she had been on a new health kick.
The night’s dish was vegetarian tikka masala.
The tikka masala was a lot spicier than the food I’m used to, but I was hungry that night. It didn’t taste too bad. In fact, I went back for seconds.
It was about 30 minutes later when the pain started. My chest was on fire. I gulped down a few antacid tablets, but the fire continued to burn. It burned long and it burned bright. Death was a possibility that night.
“Was there garlic in that?” I ask.
“Tomato sauce?” I ask.
“No. Diced tomatoes,” she says.
“That’s worse,” I say. “Spices? What kind?”
“It’s called garam masala.”
I look up garam masala: acidic and may cause acid reflux.
That evening, my wife— the heart arsonist—mixed in all the ingredients that contribute to my acid reflux and ignited it with a new, near-lethal weapon—garam masala.
“Honestly, I didn’t think you’d actually eat it,” she says.
“I guess I’ll know for next time, honey.”