Category: Learning and Growth

Retrieving Golden Lessons

On By Michael FlemingIn Learning and GrowthLeave a comment
Photograph of my Golden Retriever Richard lying on a deck outside.
Richard, a loving canine. Photo by M. Fleming

The year was 2008. For me, 2008 was a year of first dates. Funny, there weren’t too many second dates. Anyway, I remember on one first date, I went to see the movie Marley & Me about a family and their dog. By the final scene, the entire audience was in tears. Everyone, that is, except for my date. I knew at that moment that my date had no heart. There would be no second date.

Almost everyone longs for a relationship like the one between John Grogan (played by Owen Wilson) and Marley (played by many yellow Labradors). Sometimes, however, fate has other plans. Fate had other plans for the human-canine bond between Richard (my Golden Retriever) and me. Nonetheless, Richard taught me some things during our time together.

First, don’t hold grudges. When I was upset with King Richard or if Richard was upset with me, he never carried feelings of bitterness or resentment. In fact, seconds after a disagreement, Richard would lick my face.

Second, live in the moment. From what I could tell, Little Richard spent little time living in the past or future. He was always savouring the present. I am grateful that when I was with Richard, he reminded me to live in the moment.

Third, enjoy the simple things in life. Richard Bob Lloyd Harry also reminded me to love the simple things: running, walking, cuddling, eating, drinking, playing, butt sniffing…Okay, maybe not that last one.

Developing a Growth Mindset

On By Michael FlemingIn Learning and GrowthLeave a comment

A number of years ago when I was a number of years younger, I worked with a particularly challenging student. It seemed that it didn’t matter how many different ways I tried to explain a concept, she didn’t get it. If she did understand something, it seemed she forgot it the next day. I thought there would be no way she would pass a course.

But this particular challenging student who I worked with a number of years ago when I was a number years younger surprised me. She worked hard. She persisted. If she did poorly on a test, she worked harder. If she did well on a test, she worked harder. She persevered. Not only did she pass a course, she completed an entire college program.

I had misjudged her. I made the mistake of believing her abilities were fixed and that no amount of effort would help.

Whereas I had a fixed mindset, my student had a growth mindset.

Book Mindset: The new psychology of success.
Cover of the book mindset. Photo by M. Fleming

In her book Mindset, Carol S. Dweck writes:

This growth mindset is based on the belief that your basic qualities are things you can cultivate through your efforts, your strategies, and help from others. Although people may differ in every which way—in their initial talents and aptitudes, interests, or temperaments—everyone can change and grow through application and experience.

This growth mindset is something I’d like to have. But it’s not something one has; it’s not a possession. Instead, I believe a growth mindset is something you constantly work towards. And I’m grateful that a particular challenging student in my past helped me realize this.

Three Lessons from a Life of Learning

On By Michael FlemingIn Learning and Growth2 Comments

At dinner the other night, my four-year-old son asked, “Dad, can I be whatever I want when I grow up?”

I said, “Yeah, pretty much.”

He got really excited. “Then I’m going to be a builder, a fixer, a machine driver, a baker, and a pirate!”

Sometimes, as adults, we lose sight of this simple innate desire: to be someone that we look up to and to do something that we look forward to.

It’s been said by people who say things that a key to happiness is the pursuit of goals. It’s my belief that there’s no better way to pursue these goals than to immerse yourself into the vat of life-long learning.

Coincidentally, I’ve been a life-long learner my entire life, and I’ve made some discoveries while swimming in the vat.

First, it’s okay to ask for help. I’ve always told students there’s no need to feel embarrassed about getting assistance. Even the best athletes in the world have coaches! Recently, I had to take my own advice. I was struggling with a graduate-level mathematics course in proofs and was reluctant to seek help. Once I asked my instructor for help, I immediately felt better, and her guidance helped me achieve success. A willingness to ask for help is a character strength, not a flaw.

Second, keep the long-term goal in mind. Sometimes when we’re overwhelmed by life’s demands or struggling to stay motivated, it’s easy to lose sight of a distant goal. Remember the ultimate reason why you’re studying to be a pirate. You want to be rich. You want to be respected. You want to fend off rodents of unusual sizes as you protect Buttercup in the Fire Swamp. Remembering the final objective helps during difficult times.

Third, embrace challenges and learn from them. Einstein said that instead of pursuing goals that are easily achieved, we need to pursue goals that are challenging and require effort. There is greater potential for learning when tasks are difficult. There is greater potential for growing when we make mistakes. Even though you may not dream of being a pirate, you have a dream residing in the core of your being to become something better than your current self. Challenge yourself. Learn from your mistakes. Become a life-long learner. Realize your dream.